Grocery Store Meltdown

In the middle of my grocery shopping yesterday, I was alarmed by a child’s ear-piercing gurgling scream of terror coming from one aisle over. It worried me enough to rush to investigate, thinking some kid had fallen from a shopping cart or, worse, was being attacked by a pack of rabid badgers (hey, you never know). With phone in hand, ready to dial 911, I ran around the corner into the cereal aisle.

Well, like they say, if you hear hoofbeats, don’t think zebras.

It was what you’d expect. A toddler wanted the box of chocolatey candy-coated sugar puff cereal, and mom was opting for the much healthier Cheerios.

It had been awhile since I’d experienced a grocery store meltdown, so it took me by surprise.

My own children were above such things.

No, they had their meltdowns at Toys R Us, like any respectable toddler should.

The grocery store incident reminded me of one time, however, when my daughter went off script and had a bunch of people worried.

It was ten years ago, when she was three…

We were in Sandpoint, Idaho, poking around the touristy downtown area. We stopped at the Cedar Street Bridge to browse the Coldwater Creek store there. I don’t know about you, but we don’t buy stuff at Coldwater Creek, we only browse… It’s much easier on the checkbook.

Anyway, in the middle of our browsing, our daughter started her little dance and whispered, “Mommy, I have to go…” so off to the nearest bathroom on the upper level of the bridge. My son and I looked at old photos on the wall while we waited. Soon a middle-aged couple and their friend stopped to look at the photos too. Just then, the screaming began.

“No no no! Aiiiieeee! Bwaaaaggghh! Gurgle! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!” Something like that anyway. I didn’t react at all. Why should I? I hear this stuff practically every day. But the couple next to us became very concerned, probably because of a recent child abduction that had brought national attention to our area. The woman didn’t waste much time and announced that she was “going to investigate!”

We waited a few moments, with a small crowd gathering, and me pretending not to know what’s going on. Pretty soon the woman emerged from the bathroom, spread her arms, palms out to calm the masses, and authoritatively stated, “It’s okay! Everything’s alright. She saw a spider web!”

Audible sighs of relief followed, and the crowd dispersed, glad in the knowledge that the screams of terror coming from the public restroom were simply a little girl freaking out over a dusty old spider web.

I’m glad those days are long over.

Try To Be A Man

If you’re a stay-at-home dad, then you’ve seen the disapproving looks and heard the snide comments. At first it bothers you, but after awhile you realize that the animosity usually stems from either ignorance or jealousy.

And where do these looks and comments come from? Oh, just about everywhere. Family, friends, men, women, stay-at-home moms… But the worst are the golf-playing, beer-drinking, Minoxidil-rubbing, weight-pumping working dads. They have their own personal definition of what a man is supposed to be, and it sure as heck doesn’t include vacuuming, changing diapers, and cooking a healthy family meal.

I bring this up because I heard from one of the Neanderthals today, in a forum devoted to news and issues concerning the town in which I live.

He responded to me with this:

Try to be a man (really). Get a job and go to work.

Ten years ago, this comment would’ve made me flustered, because I was still figuring out my role as a stay-at-home dad. But now? Well, I just have a giggle over guys like this. If he really is so clueless to think that a dad who stays at home AND homeschools his kids is something less than a man, then that’s his problem.

I won’t even go into the “go to work” comment. Some days I wish I had an outside job to run to so I could take a break from the incredible amount of work involved in running a household and overseeing the education of my children. A desk piled with papers in a quiet air-conditioned office sounds like a vacation to me.

Actually, a bulldozer on a busy construction site sounds even better. I could definitely burn off some stress with one of those bad boys.

The point is, as a stay-at-home homeschooling dad, I have more to oversee, organize, approve, and accomplish than most dads who clock into a regular 9 to 5 job. I’m on call 24/7 and rarely get a break from my duties.

But that doesn’t make me more or less of a man than anyone else. It just means I’m a busy guy who doesn’t have time to banter with clueless message board trolls.

So, what is a man? Outside of the obvious anatomical explanations, I have no idea.

He is who he is. And he does his best with what he has.

If you have a better explanation, I’d love to hear it.

The Homeschool Decision

People often ask us why we first decided to school our kids at home.

We started in 2006, which seems forever ago, so it’s hard to remember all of the reasons why we turned away from the public schools.

Luckily, I wrote down a conversation I had with my son a few months before we made the decision.

He was in second grade at the time.

Me: “Did you go to the library today?”
Him: “Yes, I found a Bailey School Kids book!”
Me: “Cool. You can read it tonight.”
Him: “No, I already read it.”
Me: “What? When?”
Him: “Today, during my free time.”
Me: “Exactly how much free time do you have that you could read an 80-page chapter book in one afternoon?”
Him: “Lots.”
Me: “And what is the teacher doing during all this free time?”
Him: “Making sure we’re quiet.”
Me: “Uh-huh, are you sure she’s not doing her nails or taking a nap or something?”
Him: “No, she helps the kids who need help, and the rest of us have free time.”

I’m sure that this, combined with a host of other things, lit the fire for us to try something different.

We’ve never doubted our homeschool decision. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been totally worth it.

My kids have succeeded well beyond our expectations.

My son is taking college courses at the age of 16, while my 8th grade daughter is on track to do the same.

I have a feeling that my son and daughter would not have thrived as they do now if we had stayed with the public schools. They would have learned to keep their head down, to work quietly, to move forward, and, certainly, to do as well as necessary to avoid attention, both negative and positive.

I’m not sure the fire for learning would still be burning as brightly for them if we’d made a different decision way back then.

To be fair, it’s all conjecture at this point.

The homeschool decision worked for us. That’s the one thing I do know.

A Bigger Worry Than Ebola

The Ebola Virus is all over the news, maybe all over Texas by now, but you really don’t need to be worried about it just yet.

No, we are just starting cold and flu season, which generally runs from October to May.

That’s what you should be worried about.

However, if you use some common sense and preventative care, you might not even have to worry about cold and flu viruses, which will free up a lot of time to freak out about Ebola.

Here are a few uncommon facts about the common cold, from Dr. William Schaffner of Vanderbilt University…

  • Being cold, or chilled, does not increase your chances of catching a cold virus.
  • Cold viruses can survive for hours on a surface. You’re more likely to catch cold by touching a doorknob than by being sneezed on.
  • You’re more contagious before symptoms begin.
  • Hot black or green tea is one of the best things you can drink to soothe your cold symptoms. Chicken soup has minimal effects other than keeping you hydrated.
  • Vitamin C has no effect on cold symptoms.
  • The best way to prevent a cold is hand-washing.

That last one can’t be stressed enough. Wash your hands, people!

For more questions and answers about the common cold, go here.

Sleeping in the Trees

Treehouse

I had a treehouse when I was a kid. And I’m pretty sure I slept in it once or twice.

As a grown-up, the idea of sleeping in the trees, on the bare wood floor of a drafty, spider-infested, rickety old treehouse, doesn’t sound so appealing.

Ah, but what if you could find some relative luxury up in those trees?

That’s what you’ll get at the Out ‘n’ About Treehouse Treesort, in Takilma, Oregon. Continue reading

10 Benefits of Homeschooling

10 Benefits Of Homeschooling

1. Our cat never gets lonely waiting for the kids to come home from school. He just curls up right at their feet, and in their lap, and on their desk.

2. The librarian is starting to recognize us from our frequent trips to get more books. Last week she looked the other way on an overdue book.

3. Stockinged feet walking around the house all day means I don’t have to worry about polishing the wood floor.

4. There is no better place to read The History of Colonial America than curled up on the couch in front of a roaring fire.

5. We don’t need permission slips to take field trips. We just go.

6. No bullies, no PTO moms, no drop-off lane, no fashion police, no dumbing down, no fundraising, no harried teachers, no busy work. Nothing but learning.

7. The manager of our favorite deli recognizes us from our frequent lunches out and upgrades our meals with big drinks and free cookies.

8. The quality of handwriting always improves when the incentive is a half-hour morning break to watch an episode of Get Smart.

9. When the kids are asked what they did in school that day, they actually give a clear and detailed answer instead of the standard, “Oh, nothing.”

10. School becomes exciting. Knowledge becomes a treasure. Learning becomes a way of life.